abstinence ed for horndogs

Today I explored a new website that the US government has created in order to help parents talk to their teens about sex -- 4parents.gov. In addition to a horrifically spliced image featuring an odd assortment of mostly minority persons and a lecherous-looking man in a pastel yellow shirt, the site includes information on STDs as well as "Talk Topics" and "Conversation Starters" to facilitate discussion between embarrassed parents and mortified teenagers. After a few minutes of scrolling through the sex-related topics, statistics and helpful tips, I began to feel a little funny inside--and not in a good way. Here are a couple reasons why:

1) The website is blatantly in favor of teen abstinence and this agenda is visible in its every aspect. At no point are parents encouraged to talk to their teens about the responsibilities associated with being sexually active. Essentially, parents are only encouraged to speak to their teens about birth control in the context of its failure rates, not its effectiveness or necessity for a sexually active person. Instead, abstinence is pushed as the only 'good' choice for teens. Therefore, teens are left with no practical information about how to use birth control or deal with being sexually active. At what point in their lives will they receive this information, if ever? From whom?

2) The website touts marriage as the end-all-be-all to all issues relating to sexual health--"Tell them if they wait [until marriage], they won't have to worry about getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. They won't have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. Nor will they have to worry that the person they're dating is only interested in them because of sex." First, how does marriage eliminate the need to control pregnancy? And second, besides the subtle jab at the validity of non-marriage relationships between sexually active persons, how realistic is it to believe that people won't get married just so that they can have sex?

3) This is the US government's solution to the teen pregnancy and STD problem. Abstinence. For teens. The horniest, most susceptible age group ever. Did I mention horny?

Despite the enraging effect that this website had on me, in the end it was not completely irredeemable. Its salvation lies in the "Conversation Starters" section. I strongly recommend you check it out. Especially if you need a laugh.

"Your jeans are looking a little short! How much taller do you think you've grown since last year? More changes are going to happen. Do you know what some of those changes are?"

and, "Some guys go out for a good time over the weekend, and end up with thousands of dollars taken out of their paychecks for the next 18 years. Do you know how that could happen?"

Those conservatives--they really crack me up.