my last day

8:23 am - Woke up feeling cheerful and loving and happy.
9:24 am - Waltzed into work a bit late. Answered phones.
9:32 am - Read Washington Post online. Phones.
10:13 am - Browsed CNN.com. More phones.
11:01 am - Refined list of business operations problems/solutions for exit interview.
12:10 pm - Ate lunch.
12:33-1:57 pm - Phones, phones, phones oh my God everyone called.
2:03 pm - Exit interview: problems I've identified + solutions I've developed = bosses' sour faces, deflected blame, delusions of optimism.
2:54 pm - Exit from exit interview feeling like a pussy, despite having covered all of my arguments.
3:23 pm - Goodbye cake time--German chocolate. Entire company (all 11 people) gathers in/near the kitchen to share gooey dessert.
3:24 pm - Phone rings. Everyone pointedly ignores it (it's CAKE time!). I wait for it to go through auto-attendant and ring back at reception. I put down my cake and answer the goddamn phone.
3:27 pm - Customer walks in. No one moves to help her. I put down cake again.
3:31, 3:34 and 3:39 pm - Phone rings. Everyone munches on cake. I reluctantly head toward my desk to answer the call. Company president/CEO comments how funny it is that I have to take time out of my goodbye party to answer calls. I refrain from kicking him in the balls.
3:44 pm - I finally finish my piece of cake.
3:45 pm - Everyone disperses and returns to work.
3:46 pm - I hate them all.
5:30 pm - I'm so outta here.