DAY 6: Monday, 7 August

We finally arrive in Ohio, our pre-determined resting spot. As the parents-out-law have recently been called away to the home country, the house is all ours. Not having a key of our own, we refer to the treasure map that was emailed to us a few days before (ie, pictures of the house key's hidden location in the backyard). Success!! We invade.

Anticipating a certain amount of bored exhaustion, we head for the local Blockbuster for a movie. We select George Clooney's Good Night and Good Luck but decide against watching it that evening. Instead, we choose a shameful piece of fluff comedy. We slink up to the desk, hiding the second case with our artsy pick. Alas, the cashier's lack of savvy coolness (or perhaps her evil sense of humor) leads her to call out the film's title loudly, for all patrons to hear: "Good Night and Good Luck is due next week and She's the Man is due back on Wednesday!". We sprint to the getaway car.

We return home ravenous for real food. Having never really cooked in this particular kitchen before (during visits our duties are mostly limited to table-setting and salad), we venture cautiously into the refrigerator and grab perishable items to eat, since they are likely to expire before anyone returns to the house. Spicy catfish and kimchi await us, along with a head of lettuce and half a dozen bell peppers. Oh a whim, we grab the block of tofu as well. Upon slicing it up, we realize it would be extremely unwise to eat it all in one sitting, but fry all of it anyway in case we want some for breakfast. Our feast is strange but delicious. We settle into the couch to watch our stupid movie. As expected, it is stupid (though it be loosely based on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night), but Amanda Bines' goofy-ass proves fairly entertaining.

The next morning I eat toast in the newly-constructed sun room and watch the birds and squirrels devour the seed set out in the bird-feeders. The squirrel looks a little mangey, but the chipmunk that shows up is cute as hell. He stuffs his cheeks full and bounds happily away.

So cute!!

That evening a friend comes by for dinner and a movie (George Clooney, this time). We make him work for his meal--we all sit around the kitchen table and fill and fold about a gazillion pork and apple chutney dumplings. Finally, the work is done and we settle down to a dinner of dumplings and leftover catfish, salad and tofu. We talk and laugh, then watch the movie. I enjoyed it, especially as a parallel snapshot of our times, but I must admit to liking most Clooney movies, even the awful ones. I never liked him back when he was on ER but then he did O Brother, Where Art Thou? and BAM! I was in love. He and Amanda should make awesome movies together.

This doesn't really fit in anywhere, but I must mention it simply because it is possibly the ugliest thing I've ever seen:

Oh, the humanity!

I don't think it's scented like anything, but I can't say for certain one way or another. If it does smell like anything, I would have to guess that its either 'pine fresh' or 'elf aura'. I hear tell that this is merely one of three candles purchased at a craft fair back in 1983. One of its brothers was given away as a gift to someone years back (undoubtedly to a sworn enemy of the family), and the other was melted at the stake during a wintertime marshmallow roast. Legend has it that if one listened very closely, the agonized screams of tiny plastic squirrels could be heard has they were engulfed by their melting wax tree house. I shudder to think.