dicks and dykes

In 1425 Bernardino da Siena delivered a sermon in which he criticized women for their vanity, particularly regarding their giant puffy sleeves (for which he seemed to harbor an obsessive, and dare I say unnatural, hate). In the conclusion of his tirade against medieval fashion trends, he states:

“Women’s vanity is the destruction of a city, ruined by velvets and woolens, for if the same money were put into merchandise it would turn a good profit. But you keep it in your coffers along with your pearls, your other jewelry, your silver, and so forth…Whole families are undone by the inordinate dowries that are given and that men taking a wife demand; if the dowry is not to their liking, they refuse to take her. This is why they give themselves over to the vice of sodomy, some to one kind of ribaldry, some to another, and every sort of vice is practiced. In this way, the population shrinks little by little. And in this way you lose your soul, your body, your goods…”

First, it’s interesting that the religious community of the Middle Ages was so concerned about population growth considering how many witches they supposedly killed by the year 1600. (At that time the population of Europe had grown to almost 95 million, minus about 50,000 witches.) Portugal seems like it was fairly lenient sorcery-wise (6), but the German Territories went nuts (20,000)! Even Estonia cut loose—65 killed in the name of moral sanctity.

Second, I know that he hated sleeves, but can you imagine how upset Bernardino would be with the lingerie-like haltertops of today? I guess that explains the conservative uniform at most private schools. Especially since the administrators instituting these dress codes can still remember the good ol’ days when girls weren’t allowed to wear pants in public high school.

Third, it seems some things haven’t changed—to this day the Christian Right blames homosexuality for breaking down the family. At least now men are held responsible for their own dicks. Ah, progress.

As it turns out Bernardino wasn’t too far off base. Only, in the end, it wasn’t voluminous sleeves that rent the moral fiber of society but women’s slacks.

Damn that Mary Tyler Moore and her cute ass.