like a fox

Yesterday Fox’s Neil Cavuto sat down with President Bush to discuss an array of topics that included Social Security reform, energy issues and the Michael Jackson trial. One thing they did NOT discuss: the war in Iraq. When asked about it by fellow news anchor John Gibson, Cavuto stated that the topic just did not come up.

The war. The news reporter didn’t bring it up. Please stand back while my head explodes.

1. I understand that this is FOX NEWS and not the friggin’ BBC, but come on! What worthwhile reporter gets a one-on-one sit-down with the PRESIDENT and doesn’t bring up the WAR? Yes, this is Fox and they’re retarded. Yes, they’re conservative and blindly loyal to the Bush administration. Yes, they probably had to agree that they wouldn’t bring up the war in order to get this interview—but at least they should admit it! Why does their news organization think it’s better to say ‘oh, well, gosh it just didn’t come up’? MO-rons!

Other things that bothered me about this interview:

2. When asked about the possible terrorist cell uncovered in California this week, Bush predictably replied: “The best way to protect America is to keep on the offense and bust up these terrorist networks overseas by doing two things: one, committing our troops and intelligence services to the task, and also spreading freedom.” Maybe if he keeps repeating this phrase it will eventually make sense to someone.

3. He went on to say, “And that's what the American people need to know, that when we find any hint about any possible wrongdoing or a possible cell, that we'll follow up — by the way, honoring the civil liberties of those to whom we follow up. In other words, we're just not going to pick up the telephone and listen to somebody without a proper court order. That's protecting the civil liberties of Americans.” Wow, it’s comforting to know that they’ll go through the trouble of obtaining a court order to tap your phones before they break into your home at 3AM and haul you off for an extended stay at the Gitmo Inn. Just like a waaarm blanket.

4. When asked about rising gas prices, Bush pushed his desire for a domestic energy bill: “And I understand why gasoline prices are going up, and that is because we're dependent upon foreign sources of energy… We haven't had a national energy plan for years. And as a result, we're dependent.” Oh God. I know that numbers and charts probably get him all flustered and sweaty, but could someone please draw him a nice picture or use matchbox Nascars to explain to him that there aren’t enough energy resources ANYWHERE to solve this whole dependency issue? The Saudis control what everyone needs. Period. And they’re bastards. Period.

5. And finally, this is not a point of contention regarding policy—just an interesting slip on someone’s part. Bush: “And the [Social Security] problem exists because Baby Bombers like me are getting ready to retire,…”

Who else needs a beer?