i feel like i've made this joke before...

Maybe that's because someone's already beaten me to the punch:



But oh, that's so mean--so cheap and mean. Go ahead, google "Condi" and see how many photoshopped pics of her show up in which she's sporting giant tits in skimpy bikinis, drooling blood from her vampire fangs, playing kissy face with Dub, and scowling darkly over a stern jaw. Well, okay, maybe the glares aren't photoshopped--but c'mon, let's be fair! Maybe she's just one of those unfortunate chicks that doesn't photograph well. Sure, she's scary as hell, but maybe she has a soft, sexy side too. Take Eartha Kitt! She was pure, sexy evil as Catwoman opposite Adam West! And she wasn't what I would consider a typical beauty. See?



Not beautiful. In fact, perhaps even a little drunk--but still vivacious! Maybe this is more along the lines of 'sexy-like-attractive-not-sexy-like-beautiful':



There. Kinda weird, but attractive--not scary. And not drunk--perhaps hung over a bit, but definitely not still drunk. And I'll bet Condi has a 'sexy' face too.



Oh my sweet baby Lord. Condi, honey, don't you have a publicist who can explain these things to you? Remember the last State of the Union Address? You shot laser beams into Camera 3 the entire time. I don't think you even blinked once. Loosen up, smile a little, have some fun! I know there's a war on, but that hasn't stopped you yet! And it definitely isn't stopping Ms. Kitt.

Grrr, baby.