here he comes--Mr. America!

Upset about a perceived sexually discriminatory school-wide ban on shorts that does not include skirts, a male high school student has begun wearing skirts to school to protest this gross injustice. (See this article for an irresistibly juvenile interpretation of “gross” as “not attractive”.) After wearing a kilt and skirts to school Michael Coviello was told that he could no longer dress like a girly-man and was sent home by school administrators. Yet, ever watchful for impediments to liberty and justice for all, the ACLU stepped into the fray and negotiated a deal with the school officials: the ban on shorts can remain but the student must be allowed to wear skirts to school.

Is it just me or is the ACLU slipping? Have they gotten so bogged down in the weeds of personal fashion freedom that they’ve lost sight of the bigger picture—you know, sexual discrimination thinly veiled in a spotty and nonsensical dress code? Do they now embody the parody of the big city lawyers swooping down to rescue small-town America from its small-mindedness only to discover that their glamorous existence has only blinded them to the real values they are supposedly defending? If so, maybe the ACLU should hire this Coviello guy. He seems to have a firm grasp of the real issues here. I mean, he’s wearing skirts to high school. Look at this guy! Does he look like he would be wearing a skirt for any other reason? I hope he doesn’t lose his nerve. In fact, I hope he unifies all of the male students and stages skirt-ins at school games and events. If enough guys show up to school activities looking like him the school system may have to renounce their shorts-ban just to salvage some sense of dignity. Do not underestimate the power of a principal’s humiliation at the hands of his peers at county district meetings.

Finally, a word to Michael Coviello: Michael, you are my hero. Not because you’ve taken action against a perceived injustice or taken a stand against an authoritative giant. But simply because you have more balls that I do. High school is a rough social environment and you have the courage to flout the standards of beauty. Though we don’t share quite the same physique, I too have been compared to a football player when wearing a skirt. But unlike you, I never had the courage to wear one to school. Or with tennis shoes. Even for a good cause.

Rock on, grrrlfriend. Rock on.