softball tip

If you show up halfway through the season, having begged out of previous games due to an ankle injury sustained on the putting green 2 months ago, and you break out the full softball regalia complete with jersey, overtight pants and Red Sox hat, and you drink 3 Heinekens within 30 minutes right before the game, and you brag about your awesome skills and try but fail to blush sheepishly when your girlfriend brings up your countless softball trophies and shiny new bats, and you strut around the infield during warm up, whipping balls as hard as you can just to show everyone how tough you are--you better bring it. Because there's nothing worse than disappointment. Especially when it flies over your head, or bounces into your chin, or misses your glove by inches over and over, or whizzes by the first baseman (missing him by four body lengths), or hits you right in the ass when it ricochets off third base.

Not that I expect you to show up again, considering that we lost by a humiliating 19 points and that just isn't your style. I just thought you should know.