Operation Sinker

Due to a recent office move I have started using another bathroom on the other side of the building and have thus noticed a disturbing phenomenon: every once in a while, a giant solitary turd can be found lurking at the bottom of one of the toilet bowls.

I don't know who the culprit is--not yet anyway. I've made a few inquiries around the office, and it seems like so far the stealthy minx has succeeded in evading detection, like some sort of Poop Ninja. Ugh. I shudder at the prospect of future attacks. Not only is it horrific to behold, but the conspicuous lack of toilet paper baffles me. Twice already I've stumbled backwards out of a stall, shielding my face from the unexpected horror, wailing blindly: Unclean! Unclean! What is going on here?! Why would someone do such a thing? (Or rather, how would someone do such a thing?) Is it disgruntlement? Terrorism? Child-like delight? I must know.


Have faith, office mates,
For I, Restroom Samurai,
will defeat Nasty.