#5 - dear mr. program-evaluator-guy,

You, sir, are an ass-wipe.

You came to visit our delicate ecosystem to learn of the intricate balances in its fight for survival and during your tour of the facility you politely sat through our lectures and became privy to the most intimate details of our program and its staff. You exhibited all of the qualities of an exceptional evaluator and guest—you were respectful and courteous, deferential and thoughtful—but now it appears that none of your behavior was sincere. It seems that you have smiled and cajoled us into confiding in you only to trample our work and piss in our office plants once our backs were turned. While you, sir, get to return home to the city, or wherever it is you keep your freakishly tall pants, we—we, sir—must remain here to endure the havoc that you have wrought under the guise of assistance and goodwill. You have betrayed our confidence and you have made unbearable what before was barely tolerable. You have, in short, ruined our lives.

In conclusion: Cock, cock, grandma, jism, cock.

Also: Your mom.

Sincerely,

m