good clean fun at good's expense

Some of us have deep, dark zealous pasts that we'd rather forget. We don't want to remember the self-righteous superiority we felt at the holiday food drives, stakeouts at the local abortion clinic, or motivational prayer retreats. It's too painful. Too embarrassing.

Well I'm tired of running. I want face my humiliation, remember my ignorance, embrace my shame! Join me--let us cleanse ourselves of our sordid pasts!!

No really, it will be fun, I promise.

Onward, former Christian soldiers, into the dark heart of the religious political agenda--organized conservitism! First stop, the wacky antics of the Family Research Council! Next, Focus on the Family. Pro-abstinence? Flag protection? Anti-pornography? Wow, these people are CRA-zy! Anti-gay marriage? Anti-HPV vaccine? Overreporting of hate crimes? Oh God, this is getting kind of depressing. Oh God.

Maybe we should take baby steps--you know, ease ourselves into this cesspool. You can't just suck it up and dive right in and suffer through the shock like the first frigid day of swim practice. That might just give you hypothermia, but this could kill your soul. Slowly it is, then.

Actually, why don't we take a break and go see a movie? Don't forget to check the reviews first, though. It won't just cost you ten bucks and an overpriced 600 calorie popcorn snack--it could morally bankrupt you as well. So check here for some guidelines and current movie reviews and ratings. It's easy to use and FUN: the quality ratings go from POOR to EXCELLENT and the acceptability ratings from EXEMPLARY to ABHORRENT. Also, check out the content abbreviations, but be warned--they're spoilers! (My favorits are "AP", "Fe" and "RH".)

Whew. I'm pooped. That's enough for today.

Almost. If you're looking for some reading material after the movie, check out Margaret Mouse's Moral Picture Books for Children. MM is a great role model for you and your offspring. Check her out.

Always be kind and obey your parents, children. Or I'll eat you--rawwrrrrr!