worst day ever

This story is sad and tragic, but mostly just confusing. A very naked (and apparently polite) guy leaves his SUV in the street with the engine running, streaks into a building, goes all the way up to the eighth floor, smashes a window and then jumps to his death. And on top of that he gets a parking ticket.

The moral of this story? Never live in Maryland. It sucks the big one.

once you go black

I always felt sorry for the guys on the swim team. Since Speedos were mandatory for racing they always wore their soccer shorts over their skimpies until the very last minute, skulking around the edge of the pool before ripping them off and almost immediately jumping from the blocks into the water. As soon as they climbed back out again they grabbed cover and ran off into a corner somewhere to struggle back into their shorts. Every swim meet it was the same embarrassing tango. (Or perhaps I should say "cha-cha", since "tango" might imply some sort of sexiness.) Anyway, I was always amazed that swim teams could retain their male swimmers at all, considering the wardrobe. Especially the swim teams with the bright, gay team colors. A tangerine team Speedo is just adding insult to injury. I guess the guys are happy wearing their shorts while they can and just suck it up at race time. And I suppose it's also a sort of incentive--the faster you get off the blocks and swim the race, the less time you spend exposed.

Now that I think about this, cycling baffles me more than ever.

the boy who will be mayor

Stories like this just upset me. Why do so few people vote in local elections? How could this town allow a high school student to be elected mayor? Is the incumbent on suicide watch? What did he do to deserve this? Was his campaign kick-off a puppy-stomping terror-palooza? And most importantly, why couldn’t I run for mayor at age eighteen? I feel like such a failure.

wanted: Yahoo! News proofreader

“For the study, the researchers extracted DNA from the bones of 6,000-year-old penguins and compared them to the DNA of their modern descendents.”

uggghhawwwww....

Excellent pic, Sarah. Are squirrels ever NOT the cutest things on earth?

life sucks and then you cry

Which is worse? Being attacked by a swarm of angry bees or having your buttocks glued together by a vengeful ex? I think a survey is in order.

conference day 1 (1-8 hours)

High Point: Engineer Presenter #4 saying "I'm chewing gum today because my mouth is dry due to my anti-psychotic medication."

Low Point: Anything involving the words "sufficient bandwidth" and/or "gigahertz".

home ec ain’t what it used to be

Their caption: Talia DeLuca, left, and Alan Gilmer are both furnishings and interiors majors at the University of Georgia.

My caption: Alan Gilmer, right, blatantly cheats on his feng shui midterm exam.