plausible deniability--DENIED!

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morning observations

Today on the way to work we came across a strange sight. A full-size mattress laid across a loveseat in the front yard of a small house—classy—and leaning against this comfort contraption was a man. Having been stopped by a red light we were able to observe him closely. In his left hand he held an empty soda can and in his right a butter knife. As we watched he scraped the knife across the can, as if to whittle it. Of course, he was having a hard time of it. Even a sawing motion would not cut the can in half. Back to whittling. I was baffled. J suggested that he’d been locked out of the house and was now in the process of whittling himself a key. I challenged his theory: why would the man need to get into the house when everything he needs to live is outside on the front lawn with him? The answer was simple: he needs to use the bathroom.

When we got to my building I saw an old man in a business suit, standing completely transfixed on the sidewalk. He was staring at a newspaper dispenser, looking intensely perturbed. I looked more closely before we zoomed into the parking garage. It was The Onion.

reminiscing about the future

We saw Transformers last night. It was extremely enjoyable in a cheesy, excessive explosiony kind of way. And despite the fact that it's a two-hour commercial for the US armed forces, it holds an unexpected balance of anti-administration sentiment. And Shia LeBoeuf is hilarious--who knew that actual talent would ever come out of the Disney Channel's craptastic lineup of pukitude? Amazing. And whatever the movie lacks, it certainly isn't humor. Which is the only transformer to die in the entire movie? Oh yeah--it's the black one. In what is most surely the next blockbuster action trilogy, the only minority robot is the first to bite the dust. Oh Jazz, alas we barely knew ye. Your smooth moves and hip-hop lingo will be sorely missed.

I confess that I never watched the show as a kid, but I understand the nostalgic appeal to my generation and I'm willing to support this endeavor, as long as my fellows support me when Jerry Bruckheimer's live-action Strawberry Shortcake flick comes out in 2009. Of course, if you're too antsy to wait, we do have JJ Abrams' Rainbow Brite movie coming out in early 2008 to tide us over:


Cloverfield (1-18-08) Trailer #2 - Click here for more free videos

Rumor has it that Kirsten Dunst nabbed the starring role after Abrams saw her badass Samurai sword-wielding interpretation of the character. So, the 'goodness and light' angle may be bent a little, but the rainbows and fur-lined miniskirt are still in. Awesome.

more proof that cheerleading competitions are for pansies