what's cookin' for Thanksgiving dinner? propaganda? mmm, delicious!

Last week CNN.com featured an article about some teachers' non-traditional approach to Thanksgiving.

Teacher Bill Morgan walks into his third-grade class wearing a black Pilgrim hat made of construction paper and begins snatching up pencils, backpacks and glue sticks from his pupils. He tells them the items now belong to him because he "discovered" them.

Although I don't support romanticizing any historical event (especially ones that, though well-intentioned, in retrospect proved to be giant fucking mistakes) I'm not sure I'm to the point where I'm going to snatch schoolchildren's possessions off their desks and squirrel them away in a self-righteous huff either (however much fun that might be). But I do see Bill Morgan's point. The images that most Americans have of Thanksgiving

and

are not completely accurate, and are held up as an annual reminder of our relations with the natives, a cruelly deceptive moment when taken out of historical context.

Therefore, in recognition of 'alternative' views of Thanksgiving, for all of you whose holiday image is not this,

and who perhaps feel the need to atone for their breakout role as Squanto, the kind-hearted Indian whose unbounded benevolence initiated the destruction of the native peoples from sea to shining sea, I offer you the following option: create your own Thanksgiving story using the pictures below.

Native Fall Formal

Native whores

Flight of the Great Ballerina Spirit ceremony

Pilgrim Fall Formal

Super Pig blasts off to invite the Pilgrims to lunch

"I know we're starving and all, but I ain't eating no yams. What kind of barbarians are they?"

Native Ghost of Thanksgiving Future: "This no good idea, dum-dums. Trust me. Bwwaaaahhh!"

"Told ya."